Terminator Genisys disappointed on many levels, but I think I felt most let down by the dearth of hardcore swearing. It led to me wistfully reminiscing about my favorite instances of movie swearing.
As children, the school yard exposes us to bad words, but it’s generally in a crude form, lacking grace. For inspiration as to the most effective and impressive way to swear, we have always looked to the movies.
Since the F-word crept into mainstream cinema (Robert Altman’s 1970 classic M*A*S*H is often credited as one of the first mainstream instances), swearing in movies has become an artform.
Like most aspects of my filmic appreciation, my love for movie swearing was formed in my youth. And thus films from the 1980s dominate this feature. But boys and girls of all ages acknowledge that Reagen-era action stars were some of the finest purveyours of bad language in the history of cinema.
As the ’90s took hold, mainstream action movies started looking less like Lethal Weapon and more like Independence Day, and the broad family appeal necessary for such massive-budgeted films to recoup their costs pushed movie swearing into the relative margins of mainstream cinema, to be nurtured by directors like Quentin Tarantino and David Mamet. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
The scene which inspired the title of this feature is from James Cameron’s original The Terminator: shortly after Arnold Schwarzenegger’s naked body arrives in 1984, he approaches a trio of punks, seeking to acquire their attire. In response, one of them, a young Bill Paxton, complete with tire tread on his face, utters (with gusto!) the immortal phrase: “Fuck you, asshole.”
This scene was crudely re-staged for Genisys, and the PG-13-rated film wasted its one and only ‘Fuck’ on the guy who doesn’t look anything like a young Bill Paxton.
Later on in The Terminator, Arnold is sitting in a crappy motel room when the manager knocks on the door and enquires as to the smell of rotting flesh emanating (by this point he’s lost an eye, remember). The robot’s computer brain presents him with several response options, but he wisely chooses the phrase he learned earlier.
It’s clear to me now that this reasonates because Arnold was doing what every kid who saw The Terminator was doing — he was imitating something he heard. Although his delivery is tempered by the thick Austrian (robotic?) accent, his utterance gets the job done. What kid attempting to articulate grown-up words couldn’t relate to Arnie’s awkward embracing of bad words?
It was followed by ten years of brutalising bon-mots from the Austrian Oak, before Arnie too became a victim of what one might call the ‘pussification’ of action movies. There were no F-words in Last Action Hero, no siree.
Eddie Murphy is possibly the greatest swearer in the history of cinema. ‘Fuck’ rolls off his tongue like saying it’s as natural as breathing for him. It’s a beautiful thing. The one-two action comedy double hit of 1982’s 48 Hours and 1984’s Beverly Hills Cop contain some of the most glorious casual cussing ever committed to screen. 1983’s Trading Places contains some doozies too.
But it is 1988’s Coming To America that most reasonates in my mind when I think of Eddie Murphy and swearing. It has to be one of the most Fuck-heavy movies ever made. Although Eddie himself isn’t necessarily the speaker in every instance, his well-established rapport with rude words permeates every corner of the film, and its portrayal of Queens, New York.
All of crazy Dutch director Paul Verhoeven’s movies can be relied upon to push the extremes in every regard, and Robocop is no exception.
During a series of crime-stopping set-pieces in the first half of the film, we happen upon a liquor store being held-up by a proverbial ’80s action movie scumbag. Robo responds to the silent alarm and enters the store, at which point the crazed gunman, having noticed the chrome avenger striding towards him, begins firing his machine fun while maniacally saying “Fuck me” over and over.
What better way could there have been to articulate his predicament? I love the phrase ‘Fuck me’ as an exclamation of one’s own impending doom and/or misfortune. I feel like it would never be an understatement, no matter how extreme or epic the circumstance. You fall off the top of building: “Fuck me!”. Aliens are landing: “Fuck me!”. The earth spins off its orbit and hurtles toward the sun: “Fuck me!”. You drop an ice cream cone on the ground: “Fuck me!”. Appropriate every time.
As a youthful movie enthusiast, movie censor ratings loomed large over my desire to see certain movies. When The Last Boy Scout was released in 1991, it came with the dreaded R18 rating. I remember asking a classmate who’d seen the film (he was one of those guys who somehow got to see everything despite being the same age as me) what type of content had caused this harsh rating — a surfeit of boobs perhaps? Some nasty violence? While both those things pop up in The Last Boy Scout, my informant was very clear with his gleeful answer: “It has the most swearing I’ve ever heard in a movie!”
I’m not sure that’s technically the case, but there sure is a lot of swearing in The Last Boy Scout. In this regard (and many others), The Last Boy Scout represents a last hurrah for hardcore ’80s-style action movies. This is elevated by Shane Black’s knowing script (he also wrote Lethal Weapon and The Long Kiss Goodnight), which cites action movie conventions without winking at the audience. Also, Bruce Willis tells some memorably off-color jokes.
If ever someone were to sit down and actually work out which film featured the most swearing, many would agree the most likely answer would be James Foley’s 1992 adaptation of David Mamet’s play Glengarry Glen Ross.
The sombre drama about desperate real estate salesmen is a shit-kicking tour de force of fucks and shits (with the occasional C-word — thank you Al Pacino) uttered by one of the most heavyweight ensembles ever assembled.
Alec Baldwin’s extended cameo is often cited as the highpoint of the actor’s career, and it’s not difficult to see why.
The “What’s your name? Fuck you! That’s my name” exchange from the clip linked above is a great example of the unique manner in which David Mamet elevates swearing with his trademark macho word play. Another doozy is the exchange between Joe Mategna and Ricky Jay from the peerless con-man thriller House of Games that culminates in this all-time pearler:
“What country is this? The United States of kiss my ass!”
Quentin Tarantino’s clear affection for the F-word comes through in everything he does, and he found the Moses of Fuck to deliver his message to the people in the form of Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction. In addition to being the first man on earth to successfully follow an utterance of the word “motherfucker” with another “motherfucker”, he brought a glee to his articulation of swearing that invited everyone to participate. My favorite instance is relatively minor, but it always causes me to swell with joy: “I’m the foot fucking master.”
Jackson definitely elevated the form, but diluted his gift by becoming the late ’90s/early ’00s version of Michael Caine and appeared in every movie he was offered. Every now and then though, the magic still comes through. Also, he channelled his gift into audiobooks.
Honorable mentions at this stage must go to Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet, Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, Joe Pesci in Casino, and Peter Capaldi in In The Loop.